There is an art to validating our teens' feelings effectively. Work to tell them you see and appreciate the challenge of what they are feeling, and try not to follow it with statements such as, “Oh don’t worry, it will get better.”
Rather than jumping in to try and fix their problems, ask, “Do you have any solutions in mind?” or “Let me know if you want any input from me.”
Let them know about how you work to handle stress and other difficult emotions. It is not about burdening them, it's about sharing feelings appropriately.
If your teen is systematically avoiding social time, school work and other activities due to anxious and/or sad feelings, get support and find resources for help on our website. This includes learning what you can do at home, such as opposite action, exposure interventions, and behavioral activation.
The American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends that six to 12-year-olds get nine to 12 hours of sleep a night, and that 13 to 18 year-olds get eight to 10 hours a night. Keeping phones and other devices out of the bedroom at night is important. 36% of teens with devices in their rooms report waking up and checking them at least once a night. Another study shows that just having a phone (or any other mobile device in the bedroom) negatively impacts sleep duration and quality even if teens report not checking them.
Find more ways teens can have screen-free time with peers, younger kids and adults of all ages. Examples include part-time jobs, having neighbors for dinner or meeting and getting to know adult mentors.
Unfortunately, “parenting and private” are two words that often go together. We are in a major tech revolution that warrants open conversations and help-seeking. We agree with the teacher in the film who says, “The most successful people in life are those that can ask for help.”
More and more schools are implementing programs for building resiliency skills. Parents can make a big difference in organizing together and working with their schools.
In conversation with your teens, determine guidelines for your family. Sometimes you will decide on a rule that your teens will disagree with — that is OK, but explain your reasoning. For example, let’s take sleep. Share with them the science of sleep and explain your intention to parent in line with your values. You value good sleep for their emotional wellbeing and having tech off and away is essential to achieve that.
Book by filmmaker /physician of the Screenagers Movies. In the book, she covers many topics designed to help parents have calmer and more productive conversations with their children about the technology in their lives and its impact upon their health, happiness and development. You will find that a lot of the tips and advice in the book are also applicable to many other aspects of family life and will help you towards creating harmonious, open and loving relationships in your home.
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