I am forever thinking about the challenges of modeling healthier screen time habits for our kids.
One important thing is to identify specific things you want to model.
So often, parents say, “We, parents, all need to model better around this.” The problem with this is big amorphous goals, such as ”I’m going to eat healthier” or “ I need to model screen time better for my kids,” tend to fall by the wayside.
In the past, I have written about other specific ways to model tech time.
Today’s blog is about improving communication and understanding of what people are doing on their devices, and it is also about modeling having more mindfulness of what one is doing.
I offer a model of how to break down screen time and how it can be helpful to model saying to family members which of these three things you are doing on your devices: Tool, Talk, or Treat?
Learn more about showing our movies in your school or community!
Join Screenagers filmmaker Delaney Ruston MD for our latest Podcast
Learn more about our Screen-Free Sleep campaign at the website!
Our movie made for parents and educators of younger kids
Learn more about showing our movies in your school or community!
Create is the operative word. For example, a teen may watch a YouTube video to learn how to build bird nests. They are creating. We use our devices to facilitate smarter and more creative brains for all sorts of work and school activities.
In a workshop I did last week with parents and their kids after watching Screenagers, I gave each table two minutes to come up with all the ways they use tech as a treat. It had to be specific — they couldn’t say video games in general — they had to list specific games.
It overlays with Tool and Treat, such as when we talk with friends over FaceTime or make a call to get an oven repaired.
Once you have Tool, Treat, and Talk down, here is the modeling part. See if you can get in the habit of speaking your use out loud by telling your kids how you are using your device when you are on it. You may spontaneously say, “I’m using it for Talk — I am coordinating the carpool for soccer.” You may say, “Work,” and that is it. You don’t always need to go into more detail. And then, of course, specify when you are using your device in Treat mode.
This modeling can improve understanding in the family and give kids a better idea of what you are doing on your device.
Ask any child or teen if they think their parent is on their device too much, and about 70% will say “yes.” I base this loose stat on the informal surveys of thousands of kids and teens I’ve done in small and large group settings for over a decade.
Learn more about showing our movies in your school or community!
Join Screenagers filmmaker Delaney Ruston MD for our latest Podcast
Learn more about our Screen-Free Sleep campaign at the website!
Our movie made for parents and educators of younger kids
Join Screenagers filmmaker Delaney Ruston MD for our latest Podcast
The fact is, we use our devices for work at times when our kids assume we should be more at play. We are also just as susceptible to being pulled to our screens as our kids are. If we feel a bit sheepish to say what we are doing on our screen, it is a great time to reflect on that feeling, i.e., “I may be watching too many YouTube videos of football halftime shows.”
Conversations around what constitutes, Tool, Treat, and Talk help bring self-awareness.
And finally, it can be fun to talk about the borders between these three categories are not cut and dry. Wordle could be considered a treat, but you could also say it is a Tool since you are using your brain to produce words using strategic thinking.
As we’re about to celebrate 10 years of Screenagers, we want to hear what’s been most helpful and what you’d like to see next.
Please click here to share your thoughts with us in our community survey. It only takes 5–10 minutes, and everyone who completes it will be entered to win one of five $50 Amazon vouchers.
I am forever thinking about the challenges of modeling healthier screen time habits for our kids.
One important thing is to identify specific things you want to model.
So often, parents say, “We, parents, all need to model better around this.” The problem with this is big amorphous goals, such as ”I’m going to eat healthier” or “ I need to model screen time better for my kids,” tend to fall by the wayside.
In the past, I have written about other specific ways to model tech time.
Today’s blog is about improving communication and understanding of what people are doing on their devices, and it is also about modeling having more mindfulness of what one is doing.
I offer a model of how to break down screen time and how it can be helpful to model saying to family members which of these three things you are doing on your devices: Tool, Talk, or Treat?
Create is the operative word. For example, a teen may watch a YouTube video to learn how to build bird nests. They are creating. We use our devices to facilitate smarter and more creative brains for all sorts of work and school activities.
In a workshop I did last week with parents and their kids after watching Screenagers, I gave each table two minutes to come up with all the ways they use tech as a treat. It had to be specific — they couldn’t say video games in general — they had to list specific games.
It overlays with Tool and Treat, such as when we talk with friends over FaceTime or make a call to get an oven repaired.
Once you have Tool, Treat, and Talk down, here is the modeling part. See if you can get in the habit of speaking your use out loud by telling your kids how you are using your device when you are on it. You may spontaneously say, “I’m using it for Talk — I am coordinating the carpool for soccer.” You may say, “Work,” and that is it. You don’t always need to go into more detail. And then, of course, specify when you are using your device in Treat mode.
This modeling can improve understanding in the family and give kids a better idea of what you are doing on your device.
Ask any child or teen if they think their parent is on their device too much, and about 70% will say “yes.” I base this loose stat on the informal surveys of thousands of kids and teens I’ve done in small and large group settings for over a decade.
The fact is, we use our devices for work at times when our kids assume we should be more at play. We are also just as susceptible to being pulled to our screens as our kids are. If we feel a bit sheepish to say what we are doing on our screen, it is a great time to reflect on that feeling, i.e., “I may be watching too many YouTube videos of football halftime shows.”
Conversations around what constitutes, Tool, Treat, and Talk help bring self-awareness.
And finally, it can be fun to talk about the borders between these three categories are not cut and dry. Wordle could be considered a treat, but you could also say it is a Tool since you are using your brain to produce words using strategic thinking.
Sign up here to receive the weekly Tech Talk Tuesdays newsletter from Screenagers filmmaker Delaney Ruston MD.
We respect your privacy.
I am forever thinking about the challenges of modeling healthier screen time habits for our kids.
One important thing is to identify specific things you want to model.
So often, parents say, “We, parents, all need to model better around this.” The problem with this is big amorphous goals, such as ”I’m going to eat healthier” or “ I need to model screen time better for my kids,” tend to fall by the wayside.
In the past, I have written about other specific ways to model tech time.
Today’s blog is about improving communication and understanding of what people are doing on their devices, and it is also about modeling having more mindfulness of what one is doing.
I offer a model of how to break down screen time and how it can be helpful to model saying to family members which of these three things you are doing on your devices: Tool, Talk, or Treat?
Thoughtful family tech rules help protect kids’ wellbeing, learning, and sleep while strengthening connection at home. Using the fresh start of a new year, this post shares eight practical tech habits families can discuss and adapt together, including shared social media check-ins, screen time inventories, device-free meals, regular gaming breaks, and keeping phones out of bedrooms at night.
READ MORE >
Psychologist Jean Twenge explains how parental controls can support healthier tech use by protecting sleep, limiting late night device access, and reducing kids’ exposure to content they are not developmentally ready to handle. She discusses why third party parental control tools are often more effective and easier to use than built in options, while acknowledging that no system is perfect. Clear boundaries, combined with technology based limits, can reduce ongoing conflict and make screen time rules easier to enforce.
READ MORE >
for more like this, DR. DELANEY RUSTON'S NEW BOOK, PARENTING IN THE SCREEN AGE, IS THE DEFINITIVE GUIDE FOR TODAY’S PARENTS. WITH INSIGHTS ON SCREEN TIME FROM RESEARCHERS, INPUT FROM KIDS & TEENS, THIS BOOK IS PACKED WITH SOLUTIONS FOR HOW TO START AND SUSTAIN PRODUCTIVE FAMILY TALKS ABOUT TECHNOLOGY AND IT’S IMPACT ON OUR MENTAL WELLBEING.
