Parenting & Family Life

How Can Unspoken Screen Rules Help in the New Year?

a school gathering to watch screenagers
January 3, 2023
5
min read
Delaney Ruston, MD
a school gathering to watch screenagers

In Summary

As the New Year begins, it's natural to think about resolutions and ways to improve our habits and routines, including tech time expectations. But instead of focusing on revamping screen time rules, I've been thinking about the moments over the past year when my family and I turned off, or turned over, our devices and were more present with each other.  

In particular, I’ve been thinking about what I call “unspoken screen rules”--all the times we log off, consciously and unconsciously. 

One of my resolutions was to talk with my family about all this over the weekend. My hope was that it would reinforce these good habits and that my family would feel appreciated. 

I loved knowing that such a conversation would add positivity to our unspoken "family emotional piggy bank," which is great to have in the bank when tech troubles inevitably arise. 

So I did just that. I shared some examples of times when I noticed that people in the family did not have their phones out or “logged off” in other ways. It was really fun to talk about all this. 

I wanted to share some examples of unspoken screen rules so that if you want to do this same exercise with your family, or your students if you are an educator, you have some ideas:

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  • “I love how we don’t run to grab a phone when we are at dinner when we have a question. No matter how much we want to Google the answer, we don’t.” 
  • For a teacher to use: "I really appreciate how you've made an effort to put your devices away when class starts. It used to be something I had to remind you about, but now it seems to be a habit. Thank you for being considerate and showing self-control in this way."
  • “On family walks, you always participate in the conversation when we ran into folks. I love that.” 

It feels great that I already checked off one resolution by having that conversation! I’m all for a resolution that can be completed in a night. I got this idea from Jason Gay’s recent lighthearted article in the Wall Street Journal titled More New Year’s Resolutions You Can Actually Keep.

host a screening

Learn more about showing our movies in your school or community!

Podcast

Join Screenagers filmmaker Delaney Ruston MD for our latest Podcast

Learn more about our Screen-Free Sleep campaign at the website!

Screenagers elementary edition

Our movie made for parents and educators of younger kids

Podcast

Join Screenagers filmmaker Delaney Ruston MD for our latest Podcast

A couple of my favorites in the article were:

  • “I am going to play considerably less polo. I currently play zero polo, and have never played polo in my entire life, so I figure this resolution will be easy to hit.”
  • “I’m going to get a phone charger and hide it from everyone in my family. If someone says, “Hey, do we have any chargers around her for the iPad?” I’m just going to sit on the couch and keep my mouth shut.” 

Questions to use to get the conversation started:

  1. What examples can we think of for unspoken screen rules or etiquette? 
  2. What times can we think of when we naturally know to stop being on a device?
  3. What non-screen-time activities did we do together or alone this holiday break?

As well as our weekly blog, we publish videos like this one every week on the Screenagers YouTube channel

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Parenting & Family Life

How Can Unspoken Screen Rules Help in the New Year?

Delaney Ruston, MD
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Lisa Tabb
January 3, 2023

As we’re about to celebrate 10 years of Screenagers, we want to hear what’s been most helpful and what you’d like to see next.

Please click here to share your thoughts with us in our community survey. It only takes 5–10 minutes, and everyone who completes it will be entered to win one of five $50 Amazon vouchers.

As the New Year begins, it's natural to think about resolutions and ways to improve our habits and routines, including tech time expectations. But instead of focusing on revamping screen time rules, I've been thinking about the moments over the past year when my family and I turned off, or turned over, our devices and were more present with each other.  

In particular, I’ve been thinking about what I call “unspoken screen rules”--all the times we log off, consciously and unconsciously. 

One of my resolutions was to talk with my family about all this over the weekend. My hope was that it would reinforce these good habits and that my family would feel appreciated. 

I loved knowing that such a conversation would add positivity to our unspoken "family emotional piggy bank," which is great to have in the bank when tech troubles inevitably arise. 

So I did just that. I shared some examples of times when I noticed that people in the family did not have their phones out or “logged off” in other ways. It was really fun to talk about all this. 

I wanted to share some examples of unspoken screen rules so that if you want to do this same exercise with your family, or your students if you are an educator, you have some ideas:

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  • “I love how we don’t run to grab a phone when we are at dinner when we have a question. No matter how much we want to Google the answer, we don’t.” 
  • For a teacher to use: "I really appreciate how you've made an effort to put your devices away when class starts. It used to be something I had to remind you about, but now it seems to be a habit. Thank you for being considerate and showing self-control in this way."
  • “On family walks, you always participate in the conversation when we ran into folks. I love that.” 

It feels great that I already checked off one resolution by having that conversation! I’m all for a resolution that can be completed in a night. I got this idea from Jason Gay’s recent lighthearted article in the Wall Street Journal titled More New Year’s Resolutions You Can Actually Keep.

Host a Screening Button

Community Screenings - Learn more about hosting your own Screenagers community screening event!

Learn More
Find A screening Button

Find a Screening - Find a screening of our movies in your local community

Learn More
Smiling woman with long blonde hair wearing a dark teal sweater, next to text: The Screenagers Podcast with Delaney Ruston, MD.

Screenagers Podcast - Join Screenagers filmmaker Delaney Ruston MD for the latest Podcast

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Available now - Parenting in the Screen Age, from Screenagers filmmaker Delaney Ruston MD

Learn More
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Community Screenings - Learn more about hosting your own Screenagers community screening event!

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Free Book Preview - Download a free preview of "Parenting In The Screen Age" by Delaney Ruston, MD

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Join Today - Members can screen and view our movies year-round, access new lesson plans, resources and much more!

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Our New Movie - Learn more about the third movie in the Screenagers Trilogy

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A couple of my favorites in the article were:

  • “I am going to play considerably less polo. I currently play zero polo, and have never played polo in my entire life, so I figure this resolution will be easy to hit.”
  • “I’m going to get a phone charger and hide it from everyone in my family. If someone says, “Hey, do we have any chargers around her for the iPad?” I’m just going to sit on the couch and keep my mouth shut.” 

Questions to use to get the conversation started:

  1. What examples can we think of for unspoken screen rules or etiquette? 
  2. What times can we think of when we naturally know to stop being on a device?
  3. What non-screen-time activities did we do together or alone this holiday break?

As well as our weekly blog, we publish videos like this one every week on the Screenagers YouTube channel

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
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We respect your privacy.

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Available now - Parenting in the Screen Age, from Screenagers filmmaker Delaney Ruston MD

Order Here
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Available now - Parenting in the Screen Age, from Screenagers filmmaker Delaney Ruston MD

Learn More
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Community Screenings - Learn more about hosting your own Screenagers community screening event!

Learn More
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Free Book Preview - Download a free preview of "Parenting In The Screen Age" by Delaney Ruston, MD

Learn More
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Join Today - Members can screen and view our movies year-round, access new lesson plans, resources and much more!

Learn More
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Screenagers: Elementary School Age Edition - Learn more about our latest movie.

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Learn more about the Screen-Free Sleep campaign at the website!

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Parenting & Family Life

How Can Unspoken Screen Rules Help in the New Year?

Delaney Ruston, MD
January 3, 2023

As the New Year begins, it's natural to think about resolutions and ways to improve our habits and routines, including tech time expectations. But instead of focusing on revamping screen time rules, I've been thinking about the moments over the past year when my family and I turned off, or turned over, our devices and were more present with each other.  

In particular, I’ve been thinking about what I call “unspoken screen rules”--all the times we log off, consciously and unconsciously. 

One of my resolutions was to talk with my family about all this over the weekend. My hope was that it would reinforce these good habits and that my family would feel appreciated. 

I loved knowing that such a conversation would add positivity to our unspoken "family emotional piggy bank," which is great to have in the bank when tech troubles inevitably arise. 

So I did just that. I shared some examples of times when I noticed that people in the family did not have their phones out or “logged off” in other ways. It was really fun to talk about all this. 

I wanted to share some examples of unspoken screen rules so that if you want to do this same exercise with your family, or your students if you are an educator, you have some ideas:

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for more like this, DR. DELANEY RUSTON'S NEW BOOK, PARENTING IN THE SCREEN AGE, IS THE DEFINITIVE GUIDE FOR TODAY’S PARENTS. WITH INSIGHTS ON SCREEN TIME FROM RESEARCHERS, INPUT FROM KIDS & TEENS, THIS BOOK IS PACKED WITH SOLUTIONS FOR HOW TO START AND SUSTAIN PRODUCTIVE FAMILY TALKS ABOUT TECHNOLOGY AND IT’S IMPACT ON OUR MENTAL WELLBEING.  

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