Yesterday, we released a new episode of The Screenagers Podcast on a serious and sensitive topic titled How Media is Fueling A Risky Sexual Practice Among Teens.
In today’s blog, I share some important points from the episode. I hope you will listen to the full podcast episode as well. My guest on the show is New York Times best-selling author Peggy Orenstein, who recently had an in-depth article published in the New York Times titled “The Troubling Trend in Teenage Sex.”
In her article and on The Screenagers Podcast, Peggy discusses the increasing trend among teens of choking during sexual encounters, also known as sexual strangulation. While some of this content is shocking, it is not entirely surprising. Today's youth are exposed to highly sexualized material that previous generations never encountered.
From online pornography to intense sex scenes in movies and shows like “Sex In The City,” “50 Shades of Grey,” "The Idol," and “Euphoria,” as well as explicit content pushed to them on social media. This exposure has repercussions.
I recently spoke with a young adult who was surprised when I mentioned that choking was not a thing when I was their age. They assumed it had always been the norm. They were truly shocked.
In The Screenagers Podcast, Peggy said it this way,
"It involves hands on the throat, and often, it's a light repeated pressing. However, the research shows that it's getting more intense. It is largely a behavior in which girls are the targets or recipients. Girls, straight or bisexual girls, and also gender-diverse students. Boys, too (as the recipient), but much less so.”
Peggy cited important research based on a study of over 5,000 college students. Here is what she says in the podcast,
“Debbie Herbenick has been conducting annual surveys of college students. She is probably the foremost researcher on American sexual behavior. She has been surveying college students at a major midwestern university every year and has seen the rates of those who report choking or having been choked dramatically go up — particularly among girls. Two-thirds of girls had experienced choking in her most recent survey, and the rate of those who had experienced that for the first time between the ages of 12 and 17 had gone from 1 in 4 to 40%. That is enormous. By the way, 85 percent of the girls said that they had experienced some act of rough sex.”
There are several reasons why teens might engage in this practice. Peggy and I discuss some reasons, such as the idea that being choked gives an adrenaline rush, that it feels sexy to be subservient, and that girls want to feel like they are cool and up for anything vs. being “vanilla” or a “prude.”
As I mentioned above, youth have access to such intense media that shows extremes of sexual activities. BDSM hit the mainstream forcefully with the three “Fifty Shades of Grey” movies, which many teens have watched.
And then there's the HBO series “Euphoria,” rated for 18 years and older, but I can't tell you the number of 12- and 13-year-olds I've spoken to that have seen it, particularly girls. It has choking in it, and one of the characters is into BDSM. There are many other examples, such as singer Rihanna's song called “S&M,” which has accompanying explicit music videos.
If you listen to the podcast episode, you will hear more details about all of this and suggestions for talking with youth about this and similar topics.
Listen Here: Apple Podcasts // Spotify // YouTube // Website.
*Please note - Due to the nature of the conversation this episode is recommended for adult audiences.
Questions to get the conversation started in your group or with your older teens.
1. Have you heard of choking being a thing in sexual encounters?
2. Have you seen or know of friends who have seen rough sex practices in the media?
3. Have you come across any memes that suggest these types of themes?
4. Should sex ed include the topic of pornography?
Be sure to subscribe to our YouTube Channel! With new ones added regularly, you'll find over 100 videos covering parenting advice, guidance, podcasts, movie clips and more. Here's our latest!
Yesterday, we released a new episode of The Screenagers Podcast on a serious and sensitive topic titled How Media is Fueling A Risky Sexual Practice Among Teens.
In today’s blog, I share some important points from the episode. I hope you will listen to the full podcast episode as well. My guest on the show is New York Times best-selling author Peggy Orenstein, who recently had an in-depth article published in the New York Times titled “The Troubling Trend in Teenage Sex.”
In her article and on The Screenagers Podcast, Peggy discusses the increasing trend among teens of choking during sexual encounters, also known as sexual strangulation. While some of this content is shocking, it is not entirely surprising. Today's youth are exposed to highly sexualized material that previous generations never encountered.
From online pornography to intense sex scenes in movies and shows like “Sex In The City,” “50 Shades of Grey,” "The Idol," and “Euphoria,” as well as explicit content pushed to them on social media. This exposure has repercussions.
I recently spoke with a young adult who was surprised when I mentioned that choking was not a thing when I was their age. They assumed it had always been the norm. They were truly shocked.
In The Screenagers Podcast, Peggy said it this way,
"It involves hands on the throat, and often, it's a light repeated pressing. However, the research shows that it's getting more intense. It is largely a behavior in which girls are the targets or recipients. Girls, straight or bisexual girls, and also gender-diverse students. Boys, too (as the recipient), but much less so.”
Have you nagged at your kids to get off a screen? I sure have. In fact, who hasn’t? In today’s blog, I share an excerpt from The Screenagers Podcast that will surprise your kids when you share it with them. It is a beautifully done study looking at MRI brain scans of teens when they hear their actual moms nagging at them. Why share this with your child? Because you are saying that you see how YOU (and all of us adults) sometimes use ineffective communication approaches.
READ MORE >In the latest episode of The Screenagers Podcast, New York Times best-selling author and adolescent psychologist Lisa Damour, Ph.D., discusses how to have healthier conflicts with our kids. For this blog, I share some of the highlights of the podcast. These are just the tip of the iceberg because, in the episode, you will hear fascinating science, issues around phones and school, Lisa’s parenting rules, and many more tips on having productive and calmer conflicts around social media, video games, and more.
READ MORE >With Thanksgiving week upon us, today’s blog is about the nuanced world of family gatherings, where warmth and tension often intermingle. Moving beyond the picture-perfect imagery of Hallmark cards, I have some strategies to cope with family dynamics that can escalate holiday stress. I also share 4 joy-enhancing activity ideas.
READ MORE >for more like this, DR. DELANEY RUSTON'S NEW BOOK, PARENTING IN THE SCREEN AGE, IS THE DEFINITIVE GUIDE FOR TODAY’S PARENTS. WITH INSIGHTS ON SCREEN TIME FROM RESEARCHERS, INPUT FROM KIDS & TEENS, THIS BOOK IS PACKED WITH SOLUTIONS FOR HOW TO START AND SUSTAIN PRODUCTIVE FAMILY TALKS ABOUT TECHNOLOGY AND IT’S IMPACT ON OUR MENTAL WELLBEING.